Substitute teachers encounter both defiant and annoying students. Let's talk about how to handle each.
Substitute teachers encounter both defiant and annoying students. Let's talk about how to handle each.
This is Greg Collins, Substitute Teachers Lounge. It's March 19 2023. And you know, I've been subbing for five years now and the students, the type of students that bothered me five and maybe four years ago, aren't the students that bother me now, but there is a type of student that does bother me. What changed? You know, got a little secret to share with you today. This is episode 200. You know, there were times, maybe 20 episodes go somewhere in that neighborhood. I thought, all right. When I get to Episode 200, maybe I'll call it quits. But I tell you what, the last few months, the podcast has never been stronger, more downloads than ever. And maybe the most exciting part is, every time I go into a classroom now, or at least some time during the day, every single day, there's a student, at least one that will come up to me and say, Mr. Collins, I'm still listening to your podcast, and I know about what they're talking about that they've listened to it. And it's not even for them. It's for substitute teachers, but I think they like to agree or sometimes disagree with what's being said about what makes a good substitute teacher. Today's specifically, we're going to talk about students. Now I'm going to start it with a story to story about a basketball tournament game from last year but has nothing to do with the game. I was happy to see my Kentucky Wildcats win on Friday night. They've got another game later this afternoon on Sunday. I hope it goes well. They haven't had a good year and a few now. So Kentucky people are crazy about their basketball. Let me tell you a story from last year. This was in Tampa, when me and my brother went to the SEC tournament It was held in Tampa last year. And it sounds like this isn't going to be related to the topic. But it actually is. There are seven total sessions to the SEC tournament. So you basically go into place with seven tickets, and you use it as the day's use each each ticket as the days progressed. Last year, my brother was actually he's a retired employee of one of the schools, I won't mention which one because I don't want to say everything I know. But he's a retired employee of one of the schools, as most schools are, they will let those I'm not even sure if it has to do with him being an employee. But he's had season tickets for this school forever, which gives you the right then to buy postseason tickets. Last year, he bought four. They were cheap enough that it didn't bother him too much that since me and him were on two tickets, it wasn't going to bother him to leave the other tickets unsold in case friends dropped by and we wanted to give them a ticket. Or you know, we don't have to sit right next to each other in a stadium, we could set a couple of seats apart. So it was probably about the fourth session. So that would have been maybe the third day of the tournament. And we had set in the same configuration. It just so happened we were set together sitting together for this game. And there was another gentleman that had set in the row behind this, but we've gotten to be friends. So he sat next to us in one of the two seats that were still empty, which by the way, was also listed on StubHub for sale, but priced high enough that my brother priced it such that we didn't have to be cramped for 20 bucks. If they were going to sell they were going to sell for a high enough amount that he would get some of his money back. So they didn't sell. So few minutes later, an older couple older than me, I'm 65 walked down to those two seats. Look at the person that was setting and one of them talking to me and said, the lady said the guy never said anything. The lady said, Sir, you'll have to get out of our seats. And he said, Oh, I'm sorry. But then I looked up at them and said, these are our seats. And she's so and said no, we're sitting here and I said what tickets do you have? And she quoted the very seats that were sitting next to us what had happened. They had really bought cheap seats. And they had looked on StubHub for good had seats that didn't sail after the game started, came down and claimed these were their seats. Now that takes some nerve, I kind of call them out a little bit. And I didn't do anything worse to them. I didn't, I didn't yell at them. And maybe I did maybe raise my voice a little bit. I say, Boy, that takes some nerve, why don't you go back up to your cheap seats. And evidently, this older couple, it doesn't matter their age, really. But I just thought it was so ironic to see an older couple that's experienced, older has lived their life, trying to manipulate and trick the system as much as they can. And I say that to say this, I think adult attitudes are part of what has trickled over into our students as well. And today, I wanted to talk about, as you already know, from the title students, as shouldn't, you know, the way I said it in the in the opening is that they don't bother me, I really mean, they don't bother me as much. Believe it or not annoying students now bother me more than defiant students. Now, in my mind, you might think those are the same student. But I want to tell you, in my mind, what the difference is, to me, a defiant student is one that just says, I'm not going to do it. Or you tell them to come over and they say, I don't want to come over there right now, that's defiance, there's no doubt about it. In a way, they're easy to take care of. Because you just call the office, you just tell them what happened. As a substitute teacher, that's really what now I'm getting ready to say that's what the office wants you to do. That's not 100%, they want true, they want to challenge you to try to handle as much of it as you can. I've told you the story before about the lady that called the office like 10 times in one day, about trivial stuff, getting up and sharpening your pencil when she didn't want you to. And she called the office about that. And that's a bit much you don't call the office for something that simple. If somebody just back talks you that's defiance that when you call them, or you call them out, maybe I'm not getting their work done. And they'd say I don't care. Well, you know, maybe you need to contact the office in that situation. But let me tell you what I think has happened. Now, the defiant students are a few, the annoying students are many. And here's my theory. And I'm going to define some of the things that our or Misha to get more specific about some of the things that I'm talking about. But I've got a theory. And I'm going to blame COVID. Or more specifically, what happened during COVID with virtual learning. My experience is and I haven't subbed for 50 years, I haven't taught for 50 years, I've only had this experience for five years. Now, obviously, it's enough to make me want to make this podcast episode. I think the virtual learning all the stuff about teaching them online, or in my opinion, even worse, teaching half the class online, half the class in the room at the same time so that they could be further apart and all that good stuff. I'll have all the health stuff I'm okay with. But the fact that a lot of their learning was virtual for almost a year, maybe even a year and a half, and they didn't get to socialize as much. And they didn't get to be disciplined as much. There are students that really the only discipline or maybe it's best to say the only oversight that they get is at the school, they they're allowed to run rampant now this is the minority, they're allowed to run ramp ramp it maybe when they get home. Well, I think all that has contributed to a much more immature group of students. You know, let me say it this way, defiant students, I would say at the most it's 10% of your class, that's probably even high. That would be three people in a class of 30. I would say it's closer to one or two, but let's just stick with the with the 10% rule. The Annoying students, I would say when I first started, it's close to zero. Now I would say it's close to 30 40% A lot of students now because they didn't have that, that year of their life to develop and mature mentally, as they do that. As they were having otherwise that's created part of the problem. So let me mention mention what I'm talking about when I talk about annoying students. And maybe another proper word would be immature, they just don't know better. I even I've found myself saying this phrase to so many students in class lately. Even in high school, I did it in high school on Thursday. I said, Man, that is a third grade noise, or that is a third grade activity. You're a senior now what are you doing? And it kind of embarrassed him a little bit, you know, I've gotten to where I kind of like teaching seniors because they're getting ready to get out of school. Most of them don't want to act immature, most of them don't most of them want to add grown up, if not a little bit arrogant, but that's okay, as long as they don't cause trouble in the school. But let me go back to perhaps sixth grade. Told you this story isn't meant at least 10 episodes ago, where one of the students that was aggravating It was like he would ask you, what does this button do. And then when you tell him, You can't touch that, that's an emergency button. He wouldn't touch it. But he would put his finger close to it, just so you would think you would touch it, he wouldn't make noise in the hallway like you had instructed them to do. But he might just make a low hum, so that when you turn around, you won't realize who it is and who it was, I might even go to the back of the line. There are students that are annoying like that all the time. Some of them are the ones that just come up behind you and stand right there. Or some of them when you which is okay to a point. But you know, I'll tell them just you're going to have to go get your work done. There's some of them that will just look at you and smile, when they're really supposed to be getting their work done. Like you tell them to do something and you just look up and smile. I'm actually use this line in a class before. I can't remember if I use it last week or not. But I've used it several times. Most of the students like me, because I'm laid back. They describe me as laid back and nice. But there's a time when I would tell them after they've done something they shouldn't do you know, you're taking advantage of me, because I'm nice. Would you rather I yell and scream at you guys, and threaten you guys with punishment? legal punishment, paperwork punishment? Is s punishment. Would you rather me do that and follow through? Because I don't want to say to you, I'm going to do something and then not do it. Because then you're not going to believe me. So would you rather go the punishment route? Or would you rather I stay nice? Well, you know what they're going to answer to that. And then I'll say, All right, if you want me to stay nice. If you want me to stay laid back, and you want me not to be upset, then stop doing the annoying things. And don't take advantage of me. Because I'm nice. I will tell them listen, there's a time in my life when I wasn't that nice. I remember my boys still tell this story. My preacher does too because he witnessed it. A me jumping up in front of a Scores Table when I was coaching my boys when they were maybe eight years old in a basketball game because the scorekeeper or actually the clock keeper made a mistake. And of course, it would have made a difference in the game but in my head I wanted to think it would and then it looked I was so embarrassed by what made me embarrassed that day. But when I look back and realize boy how stupid I look, it might have even taken me go go into what some of the other games in a couple years later and seeing how coaches behave and realized I was behaving like that too. I'm so glad I grew out of that. I used to be the kind of guy that would jump up and yell and officials at the TV in the stadium now I'm pretty laid back there. I'll get excited I'll first at the player some time for not doing what I think they should be able to do. But that part of my life for the most part is over. And as you get into your 60s in addition different getting everything maybe I forgot how to act that way. I don't act that way anymore. I don't get upset I don't I get described again. When we talk about volleyball refereeing. I get described by those girls, not as the best referee but as the nice referee the laid back referee the one that when you can discuss things with them all that type of thing. So I'll make a point of telling them, if you're going to take advantage of me because I'm nice, then I'm going to stop being nice. I'm going to be just like every mean, substitute teacher you've ever had, or by your definition mean, I'm gonna write you up for everything that you do, because you think I won't do it. I'm going to send you to the printable for everything you do. Because you don't think I'll do it. Or do you want me to continue to be laid back? And nice. If you want me to be nice, then do your work. And don't put me in a position where I am no longer nice. And I will tell them, Listen, I'm on your side, because I'm going to give you a little benefit of the doubt, because I really think you guys having to try to learn I mean, if I was if I if COVID happened back in the 70s, when I was in school, and I had to learn virtually, which would have been impossible because there weren't any cute computers then. But stay with me here. If I had to do that, and I had to shut myself off. I guess that could have happened. I had to shut myself off from socializing. And from regular learning, maybe I had to do it on paper. I would have missed a maternity year too. So I understand guys, but go out of your way to try to make up for it. I'm not crazy. I wouldn't tell them this. I'm not crazy about annoying students, because I think you're trying to take advantage of me. So let's all see if we can do our best to behave the way we're supposed to in the classroom. So I'll say it again. I think I run into much more annoying students now than I do defiant students. But having said all this, I still try to get along with them. I still know that their life is important. And they need me to help them out with their problems. So annoying students, they will get on your nerves. But try to explain yourself a little bit. Try to tell them why tell them they're getting on your nerves, but tell them why don't just make them feel bad. Tell them why. And we'll get through it. Maybe there's part of the annoying students that make me want to stop substitute teaching, but I love it so much. I don't think I will but I will give them advice on how they could do better in the classroom. And for that matter how they can make me feel better as well.