Substitute Teachers Lounge
Substitute Teachers Lounge
Substitute Teacher Hugs
Physical boundaries in education have always required careful navigation, but today we're tackling the subject that many teachers hesitate to discuss openly – classroom hugs. Drawing from seven years of substitute teaching experience across elementary, middle, and high school settings, I'm sharing personal observations, experiences, and guidelines that have shaped my approach to this sensitive topic.
Greg Collins. Substitute Teachers Lounge podcast. It is March 25th 2025. A bit different type of podcast today.
Speaker 1:Something happened to me this week that made me think about it and I'm thinking. You know, we've never really talked about stuff like this. Let me take you back just a moment to open by saying that in the summer of 2018, I was getting ready I had just decided to start substitute teaching. My first day ended up being that November. We had a fraternity reunion. I think, given the date that it was perhaps the 40th anniversary of our establishment and our college. We were founding fathers and we were always pretty proud of that. But when one of my fraternity brothers heard me say that I was going to start substitute teaching, he made the comment well, he said don't touch anybody, and I already knew that, but I thought it was interesting that he made that comment.
Speaker 1:Today, we're going to talk about hugs. Today, I want you to formulate in your head right now if hugs are acceptable or if they're not, and what makes you think either way. Substitute teacher's lounge. All right, let me make a couple of statements right off the bat and then I'm going to make some observations. First of all, since you're probably curious, I've substitute taught for seven years and if you ever ask, if you ask me if I ever initiated a hug with a student, the answer is no. I'll expound on that a little bit. I'll also tell you some of the observations I've seen from other teachers. I also acknowledge that some of you are just naturally more what's the word? Affectionate than others, and that's just a way of helping a student. Sometimes Some of you may hug students that are in various situations, like a sped class or something traumatic just happened in their family. I guess we could call those exceptions to the rule. But let me tell you what my observations about hugging have been and how do I react to that. Now, right off the bat, I probably should also. This is probably ridiculous to say, but probably hugs have gone down a little bit since COVID because of making others sick.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'll let you decide that, but let me start by saying some of the things that I've noticed. First of all, back in that 2018 year, I did notice that students would hug their teacher sometimes. I've seen them hug custodians, I've seen them hug the principal, whatever and did it make me uncomfortable? Well, yes and no, it was innocent enough, but it did make me a little bit uncomfortable just to see that, because we live in such an environment now that you just never know how somebody is going to interpret something. So that's one part of the argument.
Speaker 1:Now I'll I'll this next story I'll put in the category of scheduled hugs. Okay, I do know of a teacher. The teacher is a very good teacher, very intelligent, very, uh, caring for her students. This teacher makes Friday hug days. Now, before you go crazy, she gives the option to the students of whether they need a hug or not. So when they leave her class on that day, they will either give her a hug and say have a great weekend or they'll bump her fist. Now I don't know if you want to start that when you substitute teach, but that's one thing, and I've observed this teacher doing that and it seemed to go over really well.
Speaker 1:Let's face it, some students don't always have the situations in their life that are ideal and if an innocent hug makes them feel better, an innocent, quick hug, then maybe that's okay. Right, maybe that's okay. So that's one thing I've observed. I've also seen some teachers when a student tells them they got a good grade on a test and they knew that grade was really needed to get their overall grade up. I've heard a teacher say give me a hug, and that was a very uplifting moment for that student, and so you'll see situations like that all the time.
Speaker 1:Here are my situations. I told you that I have never initiated a hug. I have been the recipient of a hug. I was this week. But let me back up and tell you some of the situations in which a student has asked to hug me. One was just like I just described. It was a student that I had known for five years. She just got accepted to a new college and she said Mr Collins, you're our best substitute teacher. Can I give you a hug? Well, of course, I'm not going to say no, you can't do it. We might get get sick. We'll share each other's germs. She gave me a quick hug and we both felt better about it.
Speaker 1:I also have been part of a situation where one of the students it was a high school student who was fundraising to go to a trip overseas and they asked me if I wanted to buy some candy bars. That was what the fundraiser was. So I bought five, but I only had a $20 bill and, to be honest, at the time I gave her the $20 bill, I didn't even know what it was for. I asked him, by the way, what is this for? And the student and I said well, I'll tell you what. She didn't have the change for the 20. And I said why don't you just keep it? This seems like a worthwhile thing for you to do. And she just looked at me and said Mr Collins, can I give you a hug? Now?
Speaker 1:Some of you will say, well, she was actually hugging my money, but you know situations like this. That's okay. That's okay. That's not going to be misinterpreted in any way. That's situations that I have found myself in and, if I can use my favorite phrase on this podcast, to be honest with you, I sub a lot of different classes and sometimes I'll see students that I hadn't seen for a while. That happened a couple weeks ago. One of the high schoolers I was actually at an elementary school and one of the high schoolers who wanted to become a second grade teacher saw me in the hallway. I had known her for years and she came up and hugged me because I hadn't seen them a while. Also, when I go back and substitute, teach students that I haven't seen in a while. They'll often just walk right up to me and hug. Now I have been in situations usually it's more like a sped student or something like that who their hug goes too long, and I'll just say I'll be honest with them. I said you know we're not supposed to hug that long, but thank you, and they understand that and back off.
Speaker 1:This week I taught second grade. You know, second grade still scares me If any of them or their parents are listening to this. It was a fantastic class. I made sure the teacher knew that In fact it was only a morning half-day sub job and I got to talk to the teacher when he came back in around 1130. And it's so funny because this was such a good group of kids and I'll tell you one of the things I said to them after I had met them and talked to them for three minutes, I just looked at them and said now I'm probably one of the meanest substitute teachers you've ever met and they all just smiled and laughed because they could already tell from my personality three minutes from my personality that I was being sarcastic and that I was a pretty nice guy. I was a friendly teacher and we had a friendly day. That day We'd go to the gym. Some of the students would want to sit with me. Everywhere we went they would talk to me and all that kind of thing. So it was really exciting.
Speaker 1:I like to kind of mesh with students during lunch and walk around and talk to the students. Didn't get to do that that day because I left at 1130. Their lunch slot had not come up yet and their recess slot had not come up yet. Sometimes I'll play with them at recess, like basketball or something where I'm not going to break a leg or something like that. So the teacher the regular teacher came in at about 1130. And we talked a little bit. I told him I had left notes for him because they were an excellent class, and I told him how second grade, you know, always scares me and this was the best second grade class I'd had so far. And I said all right, guys, you all have a good rest of the day.
Speaker 1:And one student walked up to me to give me a hug and then, since that student did, all the students started coming up and I said, oh my goodness. I said now let's try our best not to share germs here. But you know, I hugged them back and it was over in about two seconds and I was glad the other teacher was in there to see that. And then one of the students probably a, I'm going to say she talked as much as I did, but it was always in a productive way, it was in a helping way, and she walked right up to her teacher and you could tell they loved their teacher too. When he opened the door to walk in, they called out his name and I could tell that they really enjoyed his class. She walked right up to him and said next time you need a sub, can you call Mr Collins again? And that you know that was pretty cool because I'd only known them for like three, four hours, and so that's one of the things that made me record the podcast today.
Speaker 1:Those were totally innocent hugs from a bunch of second graders. I was glad I had touched their lives enough that they felt comfortable with me. And you know when we get right down to it felt comfortable with me. And you know when we get right down to it, isn't that what it's all about. If a student needs you for some reason, you're not going to just reject their need. You're going to say all right, let's talk about this.
Speaker 1:I've done that before too. I've students especially that I've known from several days of subbing, even if it's not the current day. If I just see them in the hallway and I see an upset, look on their face, I'll say something. Like you know, that's not the expression I normally see on your face. I can tell something's bothering you. I said you don't have to tell me about it, but if you need anything from me, let me know. And that picked them up a little bit. I've just said that to a student before and that student would hug me at the end of the day on their way out. And again, I have never initiated hugs, but if a student comes up to me and hugs me, I'll, of course, return the hug and not push them away, so to speak.
Speaker 1:But anyway, you've got to think about what is best for you in certain situations. There might be some of you right out there right now that say Mr Collins, hugs are always okay, I'm going to hug whatever student I want to. Well, it's okay. There's going to be some of you out there and I know you're out there because I see your post on the Substitute Teachers on Facebook group who will say don't ever hug a student. That could always be interpreted the other way.
Speaker 1:If they ask to give you a hug, if they walk up to you to give you a hug, it's best that you just turn them away. You got to make those decisions. You got to decide which one's right for you. I personally like to be helpful to students. If they are going through a situation that you can just tell they need some kind of pick me up, well, I'm certainly not going to turn them away if they just walk up to give me a quick hug. But I'm not going to initiate hugs myself. I'm not going to listen to their story and then say something like you need a hug. I will leave that up to them. I'll never mention it, but I certainly won't turn them away if they're upset about something and just need a quick hug of some type. So that's what happened to me this week and you've got to decide that for your own. So there's your substitute teacher's lounge episode about hugs.
